Updated: Sep 12, 2022
I AM finally free. A freedom so vast no jail cell can take my freedom away from me. This freedom happened in a split second, a sudden and quick thawing of an iceberg from deep within me. This freedom is complete forgiveness.
I had been chipping away at this iceberg for many years. The more I removed, the more it revealed itself and came to the surface. It felt endless as if it reached all the way to the bottom of the ocean. Forgiveness is like this, it has thousands of layers.
At first, I thought the layers had nothing to do with me; they were the hurtful acts and words of others. I slowly removed those layers. This seemed endless, and I kept asking, “Why?”. Why would people close to me want to hurt me? Why would those who say they love me inflict so much pain on me? It never made any sense. It didn’t make sense because I was looking outside myself instead of within.
The question, “Why?” never led to an answer that gave me peace. Is it this way for you, too? Is there an answer to this question that makes your struggles justified? No, of course not, particularly when seeking justice and reason. When I switched from looking at others to looking within myself, I really began to remove the important layers leading to a deeper level of forgiveness. I had to see myself and how the situations I found myself in were igniting a growth and change that I so desperately needed. Each hurt is also an opportunity to grow.
As I kept moving along and chipping away, I understood that to me, a part of forgiveness is the person or actions no longer holding any power over me. This was freeing, but not completely. Getting to this place was a huge accomplishment and it would have been fine to stop here. But it was not enough for me and I wanted complete forgiveness. When I arrived here, I felt I needed more. I wanted to keep growing. I wanted to let down all of the walls.
I saw two people who had caused me pain in the past. I had already forgiven them and let go of the pain, but I had my protective walls up when I saw them. I knew at that moment there was more work to be done. Something shifted within me suddenly and quickly as I reached over to greet and embrace them. I saw their light. I felt their beautiful hearts and all of their pain and struggles that had played a role in our dance. I saw my own dance moves too. I knew then that we are all the same. They are using their hearts and Souls to grow at their perfect pace, always doing their best, just as we all are.
It was seeing their Soul-light that created the shift within me. I felt grateful for all they had taught me and every way I had grown as a result of knowing them. I understood that we are all the same. We are all the power and love of our hearts, and Souls. I got in my car, and my heart burst with joy. I was free, truly free. I cried tears of gratitude, love, and joy.
As the day progressed, I began to flip through my roller desk of hurts and forgave each one in the same way. I wasn't only free of this hurt, I was free from all hurt, fully immersed in the ocean of forgiveness. The iceberg was gone. I had allowed my Soul to take over. My Soul burst through me fully and completely. My Soul was Kim, Kim was my Soul, and it felt like a star-burst.
I truly believe forgiveness is one of the most important and profound ways for us to grow. It means there is a recognition that each one of us is made from God, light, and love, no matter how we walk our human journey.
Not allowing ourselves to forgive is the most powerful jail cell of all. Are you ready to remove your iron walls? Do you want to be free? The path to peace and freedom is always within. What is within you will heal you. Your Soul’s love flows eternal.